Okay, I have been through hell over the last year and a half. First, my Uncle died in February 2009. Then my Gran died in May in the same year. I was bullied for three years in Primary School, and one year in High School. I have been in love with my teacher for three years, which I stupidly went and told my guidance teacher about it as I thought it was confidential (she never told me it wasn’t until she told me that she was phoning my parents and telling the teacher I am in love with, about everything). She completely overreacted and now about five other members of staff know about it now. My life has just been one huge humiliation and I have planned my nearby suicide, which has come from self harming, which I can’t even do that any more because my mum and dad confiscated my needles as my guidance teacher also phoned them about that, so now, instead of cutting, I only eat one meal a day. This progressed and I have a four page suicide letter ready, which my parents also know about because guess what? My guidance teacher told them! I am currently speaking to a counsellor once a week and I sometimes speak to the nurse as I am trying to get help. But to be quite honest I am sick of trying to get help and I feel like my life has been one huge roller coaster on which wont stop unless I jump out the cart. I always am crying at nights until I fall asleep, and I just feel like I have no one to talk to because as far as I am concerned, I do not have a guidance teacher. She has ruined my life. I don’t go a day without walking past a set of stairs or a car and thinking about how I could use them to kill myself. I just want everything to be over. One of my friends found my suicide note and went and spread it around the school saying I was being pathetic, stupid and immature when she really doesn’t know how I am feeling. And on top of all that, the teacher that I am in love with has been told to ignore me, and pay no attention to me, when it was him in the first place that said if there was anything I wanted to speak to him about, I could just go and find him. Now he wont even look at me and you just don’t understand how hard that is unless you have been through it. I just want for him to be happy, and I have ruined everything! I should never have opened my trap! Whoever says that speaking to an adult is a good thing, is talking rubbish! I just need some advice, and was wondering if it sounds like I am depressed, as my counsellor says that I am showing strong signs, but I am not sure. And if you are wondering, it is more than just a crush. He is the most wonderful person I have ever met and I would gladly give my life for him, he means more to me that I do. I would really appreciate some advice, nothing abusive. Thanks.