Automotive batteries and blind dates: A shocking combination?
I don't go out on a lot of dates so when my neighbor offered to set me up with a coworker of his named "Chanel" this weekend, I figured, &qu...
I don’t go out on a lot of dates so when my neighbor offered to set me up with a coworker of his named "Chanel" this weekend, I figured, "why not?". (I’m in my early 50s, thrice divorced, reasonably handsome, GOD loving and well-accomplished. I don’t see why I don’t get more women.)
Anyway, we arranged to meet at a local restaurant. When Chanel arrived, I was pleasantly surprised! She was over 6 feet tall, had steely blue eyes, broad shoulders, and was wearing a beautiful dress and expensive looking size 14 Manolo Blahniks. After a pleasant dinner we caught a movie and then went back to her place for a nightcap. (Her suggestion, NOT mine.)
About three drinks into thing she excuses herself and returns several minutes later pushing a squeaky metal cart. The cart held a PowerCharge Premium diesel truck battery attached to leads and tiny steel clamps of some sort. She then asked me if I knew anything about open circuit voltage and wanted me to help "test" the amperage of the battery. She proposed attaching the leads and clamps to my nipples. Needless to say, I was shocked. I excused myself quickly, jumped into my car, and sped home as fast as I could, hands trembling as I manipulated my shifter.
Anyone else ever had a similar experience? Is this kind of thing "normal" on the dating scene today?
GOD bless you-
Captain Art Griego
Mi estimada Senorita Num Num,
No manches, cabroncita.
Cariñosamente,
Capitán Art Griego
She’s done this before. What you have to decide is what you wanted to do with her? I’ll tell you what she was doing so you know for next time or maybe if you pluck up courage to go back. She wanted to give you a mild charge. It was to tickle up your system in the hope that there would be a penal arousal. Do you understand that? well in simple terms that was your journey which you did not take. I understand your fear and maybe I would have done the same.
Normal? That is tame. If s(he) were a real wo(man) they would have asked to attach it to your testicles. That is just how we say hello in NY.
So when is the second date?
hate to see her vibrator, probably hooked to a die hard battery. she should be sent to jail and put in a dry cell.
I’ll bet you manipulated your shifter Griego.
There’s nothing wrong with tall women, but you, being so short, obviously didn’t know how to handle her, which is why she pulled out the batteries to scare you off.
I had a similar experience with the last guy I dated, he was a former pilot like yourself, and he asked me to "Put down the landing gear and prepare for impact" while he was holding a model airplane.
I left.
Yes, that sounds gross. She should have used a miniature "Bloom Box" for her power source. It would have easily fit in her clutch purse.
… ummm… what BatMilf … ummm, said… yeah.
of course it’s not normal…the sick bittch was supposed to attach them to her OWN nipples!
Querida boca Captian mierda,
Los dos sabemos la razón por la que se escapó porque estaba muy avergonzada tan pronto como esta transmisión sexual vio al pequeño tamaño de su paquete muy pequeño. Esa es la verdadera historia y tú lo sabes. Ahora se arrepienten de la mentira esto correcto que usted le ha dicho que todas estas personas. También creo que necesita para crecer un par y no dejar que badass pirata hablar con usted de esa manera! Tienes que pegarle abajo a pesar de que estoy totalmente de acuerdo con él. Tuya un buen día y hasta idiota. =)
Tu peor pesadilla,
Ñam, ñam
Well at least it didn’t include a cow’s heart and jumper cable as well.