will you read this and give suggestions and or comments? thanks!!! i know its long but I am sorry
"Akela!" A loud voice shook me from my day dream. I blink rapidly and rub my eyes, adjusting to the brightness of the Island sun, or Haleakala, which is what we call it. I hear gentle footsteps walking towards me on the rough bamboo floor. " ‘Ae, Makuahine?" Mother likes us to talk to her in Hawaiian, but I would much rather talk in English, so if I ever leave this island for the America’s, I will be able to speak to people there. "Hele mai!" " ‘Ae, Makuahine." She motions for me to come sit next to her while she weaves a beautiful, silk blanket with many fiery colors which remind me of an eastern sunset, just before it vanishes out of sight.
"I keia manawa, Kaikamahine, ‘A’ole hiki…" Well, basically she was saying, ""Now, daughter, I cannot have you day dreaming while all the other villagers are hardly working to supply our village with what we need. If I catch you daydreaming again, I will punish you. Now go dig a basket full of roots, then bring them back to me. Understood?" "Yes, Mother." "You are dismissed."
My name is Akela, which means noble. I am a Native Islander of Makai, our island, which is near the chain of islands off the main island Hawaii. We mainly speak the Native Hawaiian language, but we also have some of our own words. Many of the villagers on this island speak English, but not as well as I do. I once stole a large canoe, and, using my superb sense of direction, I found my way to Hawaii. I walked around on the streets, understanding not a word. A kind tourist gave me a book which taught me English.
After a severe punishing from Makuahine (Mother) I spent hours and hours poring over every page, memorizing every line and every word. I even taught myself to write in English, but my handwriting is not wonderful.
I walked barefoot into our large bamboo hut and put on my beaded dress with the beautiful, bright feathers. I made a mental note to myself to stop by Haikeni’s hut on the way to show off my dress. My jewelry popped out at me just a second before I was about to declare myself ready. I grabbed a puka-shell necklace and my coral earrings and put them on. Then I peered at myself through a piece of glass and decided I looked fine.
I chose not to wear my moccasins, because of course, they would get muddy while digging roots and herbs.
I strolled down the dirt road marked with footprints, large and small, and wagon cart tracks and animal prints. I felt the cool wind on my face and the breeze in my dark, black hair. It made my hair flow and cascade down my back like a gentle waterfall. I felt the warm dirt on my open feet and my dress swayed with the wind.
Remembering to go to Makuahine to get one of her colorful, weaved baskets which were strong and would be able to hold all of the roots. Secretly, I hoped that she would give me a small basket so I could finish as quickly as possible. “Ah, nani kaikuahine, keiki, hele, hele, hele.” “Makuahine, may I please have a basket for the roots?” She gives me a stern look, the one she always gives me when I speak to her in English. “ ‘Ae, kaikuahine, l ‘a ma kai ma uka.” “You want me to fish instead?” “ ‘Ae, kaikuahine.” “But Makuahine, I wanted to dig roots!” “ ‘A ‘ole.” “And why not?” “Ho`oninau?” Why did I want to dig roots? All because of Haikeni.
I just melt when I think about him. His gorgeous blue eyes as blue as the sea, and his tousled, sandy brown hair which every strand was just right. His tanned, muscular body with perfect abs I never grew tired of looking at. The way he smiled, with his perfect white teeth and red lips, in the sweetest laid back expression I can’t explain in words.
“I just would rather dig roots.” Her translated response: “Well, daughter, Makua kane (Father) told me they have enough gatherers right now, but do not have enough fishers. I told him you would go, and he would be very disappointed if you didn’t show.”
“Fine, I’ll go.”
This meant I couldn’t go by Haikeni’s hut, for his hut was on the west side of the island and I have to fish on the east side, for the largest fish are there. Well, maybe I’ll have time after.
The palm trees swayed lazily back and forth as the winds increased then stilled, over and over. Grains of sand blew in my face, and the smell of the sea became stronger as I neared the water. The heat from the sun warmed my skin while the soft breeze cooled me.
Lying on the sand were some spears, so I grabbed the lightest one, which would be the easiest to spear with, being able to move faster and react more quickly. The water was cold and felt good on my dry and dirty feet. I took my time getting deeper, adjusting to the icy temperature of the water. When I finally was up to my waist, my feet already numb with cold, I searched the clear water for any signs of salmon or other l ‘a (fish). Even though it was Kau wela (summer), the water this year was not nearly as warm as it
was last year.
“Ah, keiki hanau o ka `aina!” I slowly turned and saw a smiling young man. Haikeni!
“Na wahine moana.” He always calls me that. It means “Woman of the ocean.” He also has many other names for me.
“ Must you talk in Makai? I favor men who talk in English.” I respond somewhat jokingly.
“Sure, kapulau, if you insist.” Another name for me: Spring.
“Mahalo, thank you.” Haikeni suddenly lurches his spear in the vast underwater blueness. He pulls up his spear and a large salmon is through the sharp spear. Smiling, he pulls the fish off and waggles in it my face! I grab it from him and teasingly slap him with it.
“Keep it, so your father doesn’t blame you for standing around, because this fish will feed a family for a week.” The salmon is large, but I have developed strength in the past years and it’s pretty easy to carry.
“He aha? Are you positive?” “ ‘Ae! Of course! I have already brought it about 50 and besides, my fingers are starting to prun
permanently.” Haikeni laughs. His laugh is amazing, joyous and jolly.
“Well, since you are so modest, of course I will take it.” I slap his cheek with the cool fish scales and start to run towards shore.
“I am going to get you for that!” Haikeni laughs again and starts chasing me towards shore. We splash our way, panting and running, with me trying to run away and with him trying to catch me.
“Akela, Haikeni, heiau!” We stop short and see my father, Kahoku, motioning us towards him with an angry expression.
Haikeni and I start walking over to him, and I hear him say under his breath to me, “What’s wrong with your Maku kane?” I shrug and give him a worried expression.
My father is always cheerful and joking. He teases everyone and is very relaxed. I have never seen this expression on his usually smiling, wrinkled face.
“What’s the trouble, Father?” I ask, hoping maybe this is a joke. “I cannot have you fooling around, we have work to be done, food to gather, crops to harvest, and many other tasks which must be done. You two need to stop playing around and get to work.” Now this made me angry.
“With all due respect, Father, if you are going to punish us, do not punish Haikeni. He has speared many fish already. Punish me, for I have only one salmon.”
Kahoku sighs. “Well, Haikeni, you may return to work-but warm yourself first. But keiki, come walk with me for a moment, for I need to talk to you.”
“Thank you Chief Kahoku. I will do as you ask.” Haikeni speaks with his head bowed and a serious expression on his face. He gives me a quick, earnest expression, as though telling me to come by his hut later to talk. I nod and turn towards my father.
We begin walking, in the soft, pure sand with a few scattered unique seashells, of many different sizes. My father walks with his head bowed, hands between his back. “Maku kane, what is the matter? You seem as though you walk with a thick, unwanted blanket around you weighing you down. Please tell me what is wrong.” Again, he sighs.
“This has been a difficult subject for me to gain the courage to tell you. I have been covering it up for months now, and it’s gotten the best of me. I can’t bottle up my feelings anymore, so I am letting them out, for the sake of my people and Makai.”
Knowing he is going to tell me something that will probably change my life, I nod seriously.
“Well, you have probably noticed sometimes when I leave the island for a couple days and return empty handed, blaming it on poor fishing in certain faraway areas.”
Yes, I have noticed, and wondered why he continued to go when he never returned with any fish, but I just silently nod.
“Well, I am ashamed to tell you, that I have been lying to you and the village for months. You see, when you were born, you had a twin brother named Kai. We loved both of you since the moment we laid eyes on you both. But my sister, your `Anake, begged us for your brother. She has not had the chance to have children, never being married, and pleaded with us. Against our better judgment, we finally agreed. She had made us feel spoiled for not giving Kai to her. So your aunt took him and moved to a secluded area ma uka (Towards the mountain), so they could have a life by themselves. Of course, I disagreed strongly, feeling Kai needed to grow up with other children so become sociable, and so you and him could have a life together. But she had no intention of anything like my plan.”
Wow. Too much information in a moment of time.
I am shell-shocked, and I cannot move. I had a twin brother!
“So she took him to their hut far away on the north side of the island. I barely heard from them for years. I let you grow up without meeting him, because I was worried if I told you, you would want to meet him and your aunt wouldn’t agree. But one day, I became worried when I hadn’t heard from her. I went to her hut and knocked. I heard wretched sobbing and screaming. I broke the door down and ran inside. In tears, `Anake told me that during the night, a week before, Kai had ran away, taking only some food, a blanket, and a canoe. Shortly later, your aunt became sick and passed away, leaving me and your mother to feel responsible to find Kai.”
“So it’s up to you to find him? How many years has it been?” I asked with a shortness of breath. I had so many questions needing to be answered.
“Yes, it’s been my main goal in life ever since. It has been 8 years since he escaped.”
“Aren’t you worried that he’s dead or drowned or something?” “Your mother and I try to believe positively. We will not rest until we find him.”
He suddenly stops walking and turns to face me. He cups my face in his hand. “At least we have you. Go back and don’t worry about anything, live like you did before I told you this.” I nod numbly and turn to head back towards the stone path leading to the western side of the island. I had only one person I wanted to share this with, and that was Haikeni.
I wanted to run to him and run into his open arms, have him hold me gently and comfort me with his soothing voice. I wanted him to touch my hair and gaze into my eyes with his so blue. I wanted him to kiss me, escorting me to a world of peace. But most of all, I wanted him to tell me that he loved me.
So I sprint up towards his hut, through the vines and bushes hanging from over my head, lost in the world of green in the towering trees. I run across the stream, splashing water everywhere. I dart around the banana trees, and finally, I see him.
He’s sitting lazily on the wood fence, with a wisp of grass hanging out of his perfect red lips. His hair is casual and shining from the light of the sun, golden brown with some hints of blonde. He hears my feet hitting the ground step by step, stride by stride. He quickly stands up and spits out his grass wisp.
“Well what’d he say, nai `a? It was a joke, right?” He gazes deeply into my eyes, searching for the truth, but then he realizes. “Akela, what’s wrong?” I start to cry, much to my embarrassment. Somehow, I explain the whole story to him. He listens and doesn’t say a word until I finish. “Oh Akela, everything’s going to be fine.” He gives me a hug, a long, comforting one, which would make my insides melt any other time. Haikeni holds me, strong but soft, the sweetest hug I have ever experienced. We sit and I lean up against him and he holds me longer, and I fall asleep, with the shining stars twinkling overhead.
well online this is what i found for the definitions its not like this is going to become a bestseller anyway there could be different meanings according to which area you live in like spanish has different dialects according to where you live
and i bet some islanders live in huts, but idk boiut the moccasins
thanks for the advice though im not trying to sound negative
please help! thank you!
I thought at one point I wanted to be a counselor, then I thought about law and decided to stick with the degree (I was 1/2 through my psych core classes) since it’s not a bad "base" for Law.