When I was growing up, I was taught that the only way to get anywhere in life is to pray hard, study hard and work hard. Nothing was given to me on a “silver platter”, and I never expected it to be. These days though, people always have their hands out for a freebie, and they seem to expect things to just be given to them.

Example one: The mother in Wal-Mart with 7 kids, 2 carts, one full of WIC approved food, the other stacked with cases of beer and cigarettes. She pulls out a WIC card from her designer wallet, out of her designer purse, with her perfectly manicured hand that she just ran through her perfectly highlighted hair, all while pulling up her designer jeans that are too tighter and pulling down her too small designer halter top and then turns to tell little “Juan Benito Carlos Jose Lopez the 4” to be quiet while she pulls out 3 hundred dollar bills to pay for her boyfriend’s beer and toxic cigarettes.

Example two: La’shaquanda, who is covered in tattoos while sporting a god awful blonde and blood red weave, is screaming at her 7 kids “Dante, Lashayla, Lamonda, Latonya, Lafonda, Laquantavia and Bon qui qui” to “be quiets” while she whips out her WIC card to pay for her cheese and milk, and then screams at the poor cashier when she says the card isn’t reading.

What the hell? Whatever happened to going out, GETTING A JOB! PAYING YOUR TAXES!, AND BUYING YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD?! America is NOT some endless bank where you can take and take and take and give nothing back to! Quit getting illegal jobs, quit thinking its “okay” to use WIC to buy your food so you still have money for beer and weed, Quit assuming that America “owes” you something and for the love of God QUIT HAVING KIDS IF YOU CAN”T AFFORD EM!

I’m not racist, my mother is African American and my father is Puerto Rican. I have a healthy respect for any legal American who pays their taxes and doesn’t abuse the system. But my God, don’t swim across the better to build a “better life” for yourself if all your gonna do is steal from the hard working Americans! Don’t get up in arms about being a slave 120 years ago, when in reality you weren’t even THOUGHT of yet! American doesn’t owe ANYONE ANYTHING! HHHHHH!

Does anyone agree with me? Are people in American getting a bigger sense of “enlightenment”?

Should there be serious restrictions put on WIC/any other government assistance cards?
You’re right, having parents of foreign decent doesn’t mean that I’m not racist, however, the sentence that followed DOES mean that I am not racist.

"I have a healthy respect for any legal American who pays their taxes and doesn’t abuse the system."

*sigh* Either read it all, or don’t comment.
You bet your a$$ I’m using racial stereotypes. You wanna know why?! Because its TRUE! If you’re (and I use that term in general, NOT directed at you) are gonna go out and abuse the system, then you better be ready for people like me to be waiting to call you on it.

America is not the never ending bank of "gimme". You CANNOT take away from us if you have no intention of PUTTING IT BACK!

Mr. And Mrs. Pallone are retired. Mrs. Pallone insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Pallone loves to browse.

Here’s a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Pallone,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

All complaints against Mr. Pallone are listed below.

Things Mr. Pallone has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3′ in housewares… And watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the anti-depressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his ‘Madonna look’ using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, and yelled ‘PICK ME!’ ‘PICK ME!’

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams ‘NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!’

And last, but not least ..

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey, There’s no toilet paper in here!’

SEND THIS ON. How could you resist?

And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day.

Put more laughter in your day. See you at Wal-mart.
really i dont care if you dont i was just wondering

I thought it was just coincedence, but after the third time, I got mad. It is always the same call: neglect. This last time, the police were called when my daughter wandered over to the next aisle!! I know who she is, by name, and have never met her, but what started it all, one night,late , i was with my kids, and the frozen food aisle was crowded with carts. i asked my daughter,4, to stay close by me, so she wouldn’t get hit by a cart. The woman,with her hubby, was at the other end of the aisle, and immediatly opened her cell, and began to punch numbers. i paid no attention, it wasn’t my business. The police show up, and the woman points to me, I shrug my shoulders, and go out the door. the police did not stop me, and I thought no more of it. Now, 3 monthes later, every time i go in wal-mart, I get a call from social services saying neglect,even though my kids never leave me or my hubby’s side. i havent gone to the manager yet for fear he will side with her & not hear me out.
the woman is a "christian" and she knows I am not one. She does not like me because I do not go to church, and she knows this. I take good care of my kids, BTW, and she likes to mind other’s business.She is a goody-goody, and actually looks for me when I go in. I told hubby i will leave the kids with him, but since he drives cab, at night, when i go, it is often difficult for me to go alone. I live in the South, where people often do not mind their own business, and i have made more than my share of enemies due to my views.
I went in " late" at 9, because at that time, the store is nearly empty and quieter then. that was the night it all started.
and yes, that is all to the story. I did not leave anything out.

As you know Wal-Mart is a corperate thug, With no ethics, no morals and just are crappy as corperate citizens. They engage in slave labor and treat there employees like crap. They posion our pets, and the list goes own and they seem not to be able to change. One way that coperations learn to change it when you take the money away from them and close there doors. Did you know if one customer aday would go into each Wal-Mart store load up a single cart with 500 dollars of meat and other things that need to be keep cold. Then walked around for a few hours and parked the cart under a cloths rack. The result would be 2,500,000 in cost to Wal-Mart. ,000,000 in 30 days and so forth. So what great ideas do you have to bring down the leader is coperate misfits.
I should have stated that I know a fellow that does this actually. So it is not my idea. And no it is not shoplifting and it is not stealing. You never walk out the door of the store with any merchandize. I always considered him off a bit, but seems he may have something right here. And there is not reform like being put out of business.

i am going for my orientation at wal-mart this sat from 9am to maybe about 5pm so what i need to know is what the heck am i gonna have to do i applyed for part time cart pusher so if anyone can help plz do.

I started writing down my dreams ’cause I felt like some of the stuff i dream about comes true in real life (Kind of weird i know). But after about a month of writing my dreams down i went back and read through them. I didn’t realize it but most of them are kind of weird. And i’m not talking about like being chased by a giant banana or something. Although in one i did get chased by someone in a bear custom. So if someone could explain them, please do.

1. I was on a school field trip to wal-mart. I fell into a random whole in the middle of the parking lot and some guy that didn’t go to my school but was my age helped me out. I told him as a thank you i would do something for him. So he told me to help him steal something from a store close to wal-mart. He said that the store stole it from a guy and that he was just getting it back. So finnaly i agreed to help him. We snuck into the store and got the thing and i escaped as fast as i could. The bus for the field trip had already left so my brother was their to pick me up. I got in the car but relized that the guy was still in the store so i got out. But my dog who had come with my brother followed me so i took him back to the car. My bro and the guy, who’s name is Daniel got out of the car. Daniel explained he noticed i had left and came looking for me but found my brother. Then his parents showed up and my mom showed up and they started talking and i ended up tranferring schools to his school so i could help him be theif.

2. (The next day i had this dream) I was in my new school with Daniel and another of my new best friends. They both liked me. But didn’t like each other (though in the dream i didn’t relize that Daniel liked me too.) i had gotten a weird text the same day a new guy moved to our school. Daniel sat a few rows over, my other bf sat to the right of me and the new kid sat diagonally behind me. I looked over at my bf and he smiled and winked at me. I turned away blushing but when i turned away i saw Daniel glaring at bf. I looked over at bf who was just smiling at Daniel. I heard the new guy almost laugh so i turned and looked at him, he gave me and big smile and i blushed again. I looked over at Daniel who looked over at me at the same time. We both turned away and i looked back over at him and he was smiling down at his paper. I got another weird text and told Daniel by mouthing the words. And asked to go to the bathroom so i could read it. But since i was new to the school i got lost. It took me a while to find my way back to class. (then it ended)

3. Me and my brothers were going to an amusement park. We met this girl and two other boys who were from a different world. Me and the girl got on a giant ski lift that went all over the park and it started breaking and going backwards and stuff. I freaked out cause i knew she was doing it and she wanted to destroy the world. But i couldn’t get off. (I don’t remeber the rest.) In the end she died.

4. I met a guy on vacation who turned out to be this like wanted criminal though he had never done anything wrong and was just framed. After i was seen with him i was expected to be his partner in crime and we had to go on the run. We went to this abandoned wearhouse where he introduced me to some of his crimainal friends. We stayed in the wear house for a few days, until somehow are names were cleared. The day we were leaving to go home. Some one started chasing us in a bear custome. We jumped on a golf cart and rode around the ware house being chased by a fake bear. Finnaly the bear stopped and took off his head to reveal my old best friend Dakota who had failed a grade so i haven’t seen her in like two years.

Are these normal dream or do i just have a very large imagination (which i already know i do so is that the cause of these dreams?) There are lots more but i’m tired of typing. Why do i have such dreams? Plus would the first two make a good book?

my husband and I were at our local Wal Mart. My 12 month old was seated with her seat belt on in the shopping cart…just like she has done hundreds of times. The next thing I know she is SCREAMING bloody murder. Somehow she had gotten her right foot, up past her ankle stuck between the bars right by where her legs are supposed to go. Long story short, we finally got someone to bring something to lube up her leg but she ended up with a swollen and bruised ankle. I am just wondering if anyone else had run into a situation like this and what can be done to make Wal Mart redesign their carts.
yeah, we have the metal ones with the bars. our target has plastic ones with a criss cross design which seems MUCH better
KRISTA D- HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??

I am going shopping at Kohl’s tomorrow and will be bringing my 9 week old baby. I have never brought my baby with to Kohl’s before and am wondering if his car seat will fit in their shopping carts? I know they’re not the normal kind like at Target and Wal-mart. Has anyone brought their baby in his car seat before and their carts work?

Fought for what I believe in, just went south
Gutted me like a sheep and tore off my mouth
Entrails covering half the living room and kitchen
Leaving several bodies either dead or twitch’n
My mind frame must have been off the charts
Security guard found me at Wal-Mart in a shopp’n cart
Broken nose and a hand missing a few fingers
Barely stood up left my arm to forever linger
By time the ambulance got there it was too late
Took my coarse of action and choose my fate
It was 20 to something, the odds were stacked
Fight’n until I got whacked from the back
When I die hopefully the skies will cry for me
Wasn’t suicidal but I couldn’t let things be
Hopefully some family won’t forget who I was
Friends never forget me, but time surely does

When I die, remember my legacy
Carry if forward, do it for the family
Remember what I taught, never back down
Just remember this crazy arsonist clown

When they put me in my casket, people will cry
Some people will be sad that I had to die
Momma, I’m sorry I had to leave you and Jess
I know what I did was wrong, left a total mess
Trying to grow up and go study abroad
Lying in my casket grandma cursing at God
“Why did you take my little boy, why him”
“Oh lord why?” her pale face turning grim
People wishing my death got what they wanted
Now that I’m gone I hope my actions haunt them
I lived trying to leave something good behind
But it never took off, never crossed your mind
So be prepared because life moves to damn fast
One minute you driving, next your in a body cast
So better live life now, better say those prayers
Because when you die, someone might actually care

When I die, remember my legacy
Carry if forward, do it for the family
Remember what I taught, never back down
Just remember this crazy arsonist clown

You got to stand strong, fight for what you believe
Things won’t come to you, got to go out and retrieve
Work hard, pay taxes and then life ends quickly
So abruptly, if you make it pass 35, your damn lucky
Live and die, just here to repopulate human kind
Why should we even live, if no legacy is left behind
You might have purpose, if your worth something
Hit a brick wall, the end soon becomes abrupting
I ain’t going out like that, gonna take my chance
Its my wishes and dreams only I can truly grant
You better do something with this gift or be forgotten
Berried six feet deep, left life unfulfilled, your body rotten

When I die, remember my legacy
Carry if forward, do it for the family
Remember what I taught, never back down
Just remember this crazy arsonist clown

The Midwest Arsonist

Fought for what I believe in, just went south
Gutted me like a sheep and tore off my mouth
Entrails covering half the living room and kitchen
Leaving several bodies either dead or twitch’n
My mind frame must have been off the charts
Security guard found me at Wal-Mart in a shopp’n cart
Broken nose and a hand missing a few fingers
Barely stood up left my arm to forever linger
By time the ambulance got there it was too late
Took my coarse of action and choose my fate
It was 20 to something, the odds were stacked
Fight’n until I got whacked from the back
When I die hopefully the skies will cry for me
Wasn’t suicidal but I couldn’t let things be
Hopefully some family won’t forget who I was
Friends never forget me, but time surely does

When I die, remember my legacy
Carry if forward, do it for the family
Remember what I taught, never back down
Just remember this crazy arsonist clown

When they put me in my casket, people will cry
Some people will be sad that I had to die
Momma, I’m sorry I had to leave you and Jess
I know what I did was wrong, left a total mess
Trying to grow up and go study abroad
Lying in my casket grandma cursing a God
“Why did you take my little boy, why him”
“Oh lord why?” here face turning grim
People wishing my death got what they wanted
Now that I’m gone I hope their lives are haunted
I lived trying to leave something good behind
But it never took off, never crossed your mind
So be prepared because life moves to damn fast
One minute you driving, next your in a body cast
So better live life now, better say those prayers
Because when you die, someone might actually care

When I die, remember my legacy
Carry if forward, do it for the family
Remember what I taught, never back down
Just remember this crazy arsonist clown

You got to stand strong, fight for what you believe
Things won’t come to you, got to go out and retrieve
Work hard, pay taxes and then life ends quickly
So abruptly, if you make it pass 35, your damn lucky
Live and die, just here to repopulate human kind
Why should we even live, if no legacy is left behind
You better do something with this gift or be forgotten
Berried six feet deep, left life unfulfilled, your body rotten

When I die, remember my legacy
Carry if forward, do it for the family
Remember what I taught, never back down
Just remember this crazy arsonist clown

The Midwest Arsonist

I want to get one of those metal collapsable carts that a lot of elderly people use for groceries and stuff (like this one: http://cgi.ebay.com/Metal-Folding-White-Shopping-Laundry-Grocery-Cart-NEW_W0QQitemZ160018650262QQihZ006QQcategoryZ71483QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) but I have no idea where to get one.

I live in a dorm at my college, and there’s a Giant about 2 blocks away, but 2 blocks is really far when I’m carrying soda or other heavy/bulky stuff (I’m not the world’s strongest woman or anything), so silly as it might look, it will be soooo helpful and will save me a lot of trouble trying to lug everything back by myself because I hate bugging people for help or rides all the time.

I’ve already checked eBay and stuff, but they all charge outrageous shipping costs. Are there any stores I can go to and get it for like, – (or less) and avoid shipping altogether? I’ve already checked stores and websites for places like K-Mart and Wal-Mart too and can’t find it. Can anyone help?
I’m not sure why the above link isn’t working, so I’ll repost it here. Maybe it will work now… http://cgi.ebay.com/Metal-Folding-White-Shopping-Laundry-Grocery-Cart-NEW_W0QQitemZ160018650262QQihZ006QQcategoryZ71483QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

But anyway, like I said, I don’t care how silly it looks. If you’ve tried carrying 4 2-liter bottles of soda and various other things a couple blocks in the heat or cold, you’d understand. I don’t want to just "borrow" a shopping cart from the store either. Kids get in trouble for taking them all the time. Since the school’s so close, they look out for people doing that. Multiple trips also isn’t the answer.

I’m in a store Like walmart at a Ski Resort shopping, and I have Rollerblades on. There is also a baby in a carrier in my cart. A kid I have seen from school, but don’t really know him is there, his name is Eric Chung. He is there with his mom and they are talking about a relative getting a new job at Burger King. They are also wearing rollerblades. Next thing I know this guy grabs the front of my cart and starts running with me on rollerblades, I can’t stop him. He makes a sharp turn, me, the cart, and the baby go flying. I’m about to shout "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" (hesitantly, for some reason, I get the feeling I am there with my school) but I wake up at the beginning of shouting "WHAT"

This dream for some reason sticks out to me. It came to me in a nap, and It’s been about 40 minutes since I woke up, and I remember it vividly. Normally I forget my dreams or just disregard them within 10-15 minutes. Whats up?
(Most of these occurred before the Wal-Mart scene, but at the Ski-Resort. Pretty much just random scenes in the dream)

- at some point in the dream I was eating with my friends in a cafeteria-like setting. Kind of like what I have at school.
- At some point in the dream there was a vicious greyhound

———————————————————–
I woke up with a backache that was there when I fell asleep, but was worse on the side I landed on in my dream
(Most of these occurred before the Wal-Mart scene, but at the Ski-Resort. Pretty much just random scenes in the dream)

- at some point in the dream I was eating with my friends in a cafeteria-like setting. Kind of like what I have at school.
- At some point in the dream there was a vicious greyhound

———————————————————–
I woke up with a backache that was there when I fell asleep, but was worse on the side I landed on in my dream

Well my fiance and I were walking into wal mart yesterday morning to get some stuff, and there was a guy with a sign that said "Christmas puppies for sale" so of course I stop to look… he had a cart full of 8 tan and white puppies that can’t be older than 5 weeks old even though he said 8 weeks. i went inside to do my shopping and when I came back out he was down to 5… of course I took one.

the puppy is adorable, he eats dry puppy chow fine, but cries A LOT.. I just gave him a bowl of warm milk and he lapped it up vigorously and is now sound asleep doing the little puppy grunting.

he walks, but wobbles as he wags his little tail.

The guy said he is a lab mix, but he looks like a pit puppy to me.. at least 80 percent pit. I gave the guy for him, he had 4 others when i left, i wish i could have taken them All. I am hoping they all got good homes, when i took mine, there was a crowd of about 20 people around him and the cart.

This guy was a scum bag ghetto thug just wanting money.. i couldn’t walk away without helping 1 of them.. he had them in a shopping cart with a blanket in with them… they were all huddled up together and kids/adults were poking and prodding at them, grabbing them up and putting them down like they were stuffed animals on a display shelf.

SO, I do not have the money to go and buy this puppy the puppy milk and bottles. I am caring for 5 other dogs and 5 cats. I just have a huge heart and couldn’t leave wal mart yesterday without helping at least 1 of these puppies.

What should I do??.. he seems to be doing ok.. he sleeps/eats/plays/poops/and pees just fine. I have him in a puppy bed which is inside a rectangular laundry basket with a big stuffed teddy bear,a heating pad on low, and a blanket. He slept in it last night all night and got up at 5am to eat/potty.

am i doing ok??.. I am wanting to keep him as does my fiance.. he is a little fighter and just the cutest thing.

Here is a photo of him..

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y42/MarineWifey19/puppy1-1.jpg

thanks.
and for everyone telling me to give him to a shelter or rescue, no i will not. He is better off with me than in a kennel all day where he could wind up dead.

I am home all day everyday and he will be with me at all times, i have a lot of time on my hands to care for him.
Animal hoarder?? I think not, but nice try.

Animal hoarders DO NOT take care of their pets and live in squaler conditions.

I DID live in an RV but as i stated then, it was TEMPORAIRY. I am now in a huge 4 bedroom home with basement, and HUGE fenced in backyard.. so shush!

I also have cash in my wallet, and 2 credit/bank cards as well if you MUST know.

I have christmas shopping to do for a family of 7! also more pets to care for!.. I will PROBABLY go ahead and buy the puppy milk replacer since he seems to need it and i do know that cows milk isn’t the greatest, but in a pinch its NOT going to KILL him to have a couple bowls of it.

A lot of you are dense and down right RUDE and think you are much wiser and better than everyone else…NEWSFLASH: You aren’t and you definetly aren’t perfect or gods gift to the animal world.
Animal hoarder?? I think not, but nice try.

Animal hoarders DO NOT take care of their pets and live in squaler conditions.

I DID live in an RV but as i stated then, it was TEMPORAIRY. I am now in a huge 4 bedroom home with basement, and HUGE fenced in backyard.. so shush!

I also have cash in my wallet, and 2 credit/bank cards as well if you MUST know.

I have christmas shopping to do for a family of 7! also more pets to care for!.. I will PROBABLY go ahead and buy the puppy milk replacer since he seems to need it and i do know that cows milk isn’t the greatest, but in a pinch its NOT going to KILL him to have a couple bowls of it.

A lot of you are dense and down right RUDE and think you are much wiser and better than everyone else…NEWSFLASH: You aren’t and you definetly aren’t perfect or gods gift to the animal world.

I’m not trying to just be stupid, I’m seriously asking this. I just heard of a person getting forced to sell their house or give up their grandkids because the old people wanted to be rid of them. Of course, this all went to court, and for some ridiculous reason, the judge supported the old people, and they had to move. And one time in Wal-Mart, some old man almost hit me with his cart, then said "%$@# Kids!" Why? What exactly is it that we did to absolutely enrage the elderly community?

ok i am about to have my 2nd baby, and my daughter will be around 21 months when this one comes. we usually walk her around the grocery store if its me and my hubby (one to wrangle her up when she decides to run a muck, or we just sit her in the cart, depends where we are) but whats the easiest way to shop with 2 babies? i mean in wal mart im not going to want to be pushing a dual stroller and a shopping cart. i dont think it would be very easy holding my daugthers hand as i am pushing a cart. with the new baby, i will sit the car seat in the shopping cart (the front part) but where does my toddler go? this sounds soo silly, but im wondering, how do you shop with your babies??
wow, brainfart! i didnt even think of a sling!! THANK YOU!! YAY

Hey, today I’m gonna go to my local wal-mart to apply for a part-time job there so can I have some advice? What should I expect when I’m pushing carts? Is there any thing I should look out for. Any advice will be good.

As stupid as this question sounds, it’s a serious one (yet still kinda funny…)

Lately our local Super Wal-Mart has been undergoing lots of renovations. Last week I noticed that when I pushed my cart off the tile and onto the exposed concrete, (inside the store, where the floors are being repaired) I would get a super shock in either one of my hands. You know… the kind you get from touching door knobs in the winter… times FIVE. Then it happened again a few days later when I went back for a huge box of cat litter (I needed the basket.)

I didn’t think much of it until tonight when my husband was pushing the cart around.

All of a sudden he yipped like a dog and I asked him what his problem was and he goes, "That’s the THIRD time I’ve been shocked tonight."

That was when I told him about my previous two experiences. He told me it seemed like something wasn’t grounded correctly and might be dangerous.

What do you think the deal is? We’ve shopped here for over a year and this is only really recent. Ultimately, it’s not going to keep me from shopping at my ever-so-classy Wal-Mart, but I’m just curious.

My friend that works at Wal Mart has been a cashier there for 8 years. She said the home office had all the cart pushers fired & is making the cashiers & other workers go out to the parking lot & push in carts along with doing their regular work & lots of them are looking for other work. I had been wondering why the parking lot had shopping carts scattered all over it lately and therez NO WHERE to park. Then inside the store, there were no carts to use. If WalMart wants us to spend our money there, they should be a little more considerate of their customers. Itz bad enough that they’re so greedy they only give us a tiny bit of water to wash our hands in the restroom. We should STOP shopping there & find a more friendly store.
Heads would roll if dear Mr. Sam Walton were alive!!
Has anyone else had this problem? And is this going on at all Walmart stores? Thanks!

50 Fun Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we’ve got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and
2 years ago
Additional Details
say, "Hi. I haven’t seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
20. Put M&M’s on layaway.
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around
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your shoulders and run around saying, "I’m Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won’t you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
38.
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38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD’s.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don’t get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

I hate Wal-Mart, but had to go in the middle of the day the other day (while most normal people are working) and saw some really super-sized obese people. I mean crazy big. Some had handicapped parking privileges and used electric carts. They obviously weren’t working.

What’s up with that?