What to do when you have 3 kids – one wants something big youd like to get – what about the other 2?
This is becoming more and more of a problem as the kids get older. I find the older my oldest gets the more she is learning her interests and passions...
This is becoming more and more of a problem as the kids get older. I find the older my oldest gets the more she is learning her interests and passions, she wants a race car and really loves riding go karts and wed love to get her one. The problem is I feel like we often buy her really cool things on bdays and holidays and we try to buy #2 big things too but A- we really struggle to think of a big item that she even will have an interest in and B- It hard to fork out the extra cash in the first place much less for something #2 doesnt even want. They are only 1.5 yrs apart (almost 4 & the other is 5) My youngest is still a baby. I thought about waiting until Christmas but Ill still be struglling to find an equivalent gift for 2, (not to mention thats 3 kids and would get pretty pricey.) I also have the problem that when I do think of something for #2 they end up just sharing it and she lets first born do more cause shes better – Id have them share the gocart but #2 just isnt that into the concept and shes not old enough either. It sucks because #2 shares everything cause the age and #1 gets her own special gifts cause they are -too hard for #2s age -#1 has stronger interests – sigh hope this all makes sense I have racked my brain on this for the last year and the older they get Im afraid the harder itll get (hopefully Im wrong and gets easier)
The thing that’s important is to get kids what they love – not necessarily the price point. They want to feel heard – to know that you know what’s important to them. So while you may buy a go kart for one, the other you may sign up for ballet and drive them to and from practice every day and another may want to take a trip to Disney Land.
You can also use age as the guidepost. A child may get a very expensive gift when they turn 13 or 16 or 18 and the others will too but they may not get something as big right then.
I’d also encourage you to allow them to earn some of the money to buy big things that they want. It helps them to take better care of their things, to realize how much work it takes to earn the money to get stuff and to have a sense of pride that they earned the money to help purchase things.
Good luck!
Put the money into savings accounts, instead. This ensures equal treatment. Let them finance their own "strong" special interests.
You are right, this does get harder as they get older. At this stage, number 2 probably won’t notice, but later on they both will. I’d recommend setting a limit for all birthdays and christmas. If the child wants something over the limit, then you could ask them to do jobs to earn money and save some money towards it. It doesn’t have to be the difference but at least it teaches them the value of money and makes them appreciate the gift more.